When I bring clouds over the earth, and the bow appears in the clouds, I will recall the covenent I have made between me and you and all living things so that the waters shall never again become a flood...genesis 9: 14
on the morning of my departure, saw another rainbow extending over the roof of the church,directly outside the hotel window. there have been alot more along the way. 
in a single day, the grace of memory fills the little hours between...from a solo bike, to final evenings waiting for train by a wet station, the countless moments spent with you...your name becomes a smile, once more to bless and remember...and always...in gratitude...
uphill climb
my first snowman...cheerful, spiked, grinning, focused, intent, intense, still, silent. cynic. solitary. finding... found. free.
pat, as always, timed her painting to arrive from s'pore just when i was about to leave for home. it speaks alot to the closures i've been making. the reflections made. coming through a forest, darkening but surely, a darkness that is freeing. she knows where we've been. 
received this emblem of the good shepherd from calvin. a gift from the cathedral. jesus holding the lamb, framed by the vine and branches. the cross, a sacrifice. the lamb, each other, family, friends even our faith...to be blessed, held, cared for , then set free to give life to others. much like, teaching as a vocation. a meditation on john 15: 1-17. and john 10: 14-16. Word of God, with me since the beginning of life... Cross of Christ challenging and guiding us for a lifetime.
umbrella got shredded apart. i learnt to lean on my windbreaker instead. footsteps impeded by wind and rain. shoes and socks, wet. slept with winds hissing outside my window. raindrops pattering till dawn. next day, managed to meet up with writer boey kim cheng for coffee. his friends call him kim. i followed suit. shared about family, travel, life, teaching and poetry. his latest collection too and a collection of prose to be published in singapore soon. he remembered pjc. said he returned to singapore last dec. and was invited to share some of his works with other jcs here. pioneer left an impression which others did not: our students were somewhat more keen, engaging, appreciative and humble than the rest he said. i beamed with pride. we also managed to catch one of the most original movies i've watched this year...paris je'taime. 
a french-english montage of stories about people falling, journeying, making, rediscovering, tolerating, feasting, breaking, living, sensing love. in paris, city of lights, mythical city of that one lost elusive emotion we call love. this film took me beyond the realm of emotion. it taught and showed much. love beyond its cloying sweetness. love in all its groundedness. i remember the new scents emitted from those short confectionary of stories. some are multilingual yet every piece is woven by a common language we are all familiar with. my fav. piece involved a blind lad and his galfren. cut-throat narrative, a heartfelt poem in voice and visuals. there were others of equal worth and dignity - man and mamasan, papasan and his apparent lass, art and artist, young and old, adult and teenager, married and/or divorced, fidelity and promiscuity, parent and child, 
straight and /or gay, strangers and friends, muslim and non-believer (or so we thought), migrant and immigrant, mortal and immortal, a communal solitaire, near east and distant west, between life, beyond death...many big names and some directors contributed their creative thought to this quiet masterpiece: elijah wood, natalie portman, gerard depardieu, juliette binoche, the late oscar wilde (haha) and even wes craven (!). an ethereal voiceover song from faye wong's tian kong took my head off my neck! kim sniggered. i laughed my heart out and almost broke my seat for that one postmodern piece. so darn intelligent and yet so subtle on its intent. the entire ensemble was always celebratory and elegiac in form. a rare vintage of fluid thought, self contained visions and miniature portions of truth. i wished every take became a portrait or book i could take home or share in a literature classroom. i will watch it again. it has too much to teach. and many chapters to share. still, more doors to be opened. paris je'taime... > 12 characters. 12 lives. one common road. one film. 
john who burns dvds for me in exchange for meals like these. he burn i cook. we eat. share talk videos. govt. badawi. racism. church. our plain good life in melbourne. maidi whom God sent in the last minute when my computer crashed for the week. 2 8000 word assignment at stake! solid neighbours. solid folks. i am the oooldest of all. they are still undergrads in tow. 3 big and generous singaporeans lodged in the middle of winter. battling a recent burglar and one eeevil estate manager. we all know who she is..shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
dear God, i didn't expect to be here. have long resisted the idea. melbourne was more than a figment. a mere holiday destination. sometimes, a needed reunion. then again, it happened only at tarrawarra. 
grace touches you at an unknown hour and the road widened, with every gateway falling away. the more i walked and explored, the more tangible the thought became. confirming your quiet call. leading on. courage received. one season of uncertainty and the rich fullness of another three. an awaited arrival. complete the harvest, now. a return home to grace. everything i hold in my hand. 
this kingdom you described is not some abstract palace in the sky. it is life, given and gifted to me. in full and humble recognition of your footprints, our journeying, yours' beside mine. i remember your mercy Lord and the love you have shown from of old. do not remember the straying paths of my youth, but in your love, remember me. psalm 25
tank with upturned branches and a carpet of sand and water to cover. caecilians, rainbow crabs. the occasional shrimps and food-fish are on my list. home...is to find and set up my own tank again. this was the one i had to dismantle shortly before i left, in july 06. what a foilage! what a waste. resurrection beckons. nostalgia remains. 
a missing tank. one missing room. and nearing home.
gratitude for life, received...well-lived. fifteen more. and still, so many more daygifts to be opened. i'm ready to go, Lord. knowing, in leaving, i live. closing one life and re-opening another. finding and reclaiming my faith in You again, once more. 
