A song by billy deani found an unusual, if not badly composed piece of montage dedicated to endangered manatees. the song was a jarring imposition on the message intended...anyway, these are terribly gentle creatures that inhabit the shores of florida. their rotund bodies are often mortally cut by fastboat propellers. another related species, known as dugongs, are found in southeast asia, sometimes as near as pulau tekong. i once took part in a feeding session at the singapore zoo. five dollars worth of freshly- steamed sweet potato tugged into the warm bristles that surround the slow stretch of soft-chewing lips. a dugong hugged the morsel with its fleshy flippers. and munched the tuber to a pulp. my hands still tickles from its touch.
elsewhere, an utterly harmless and serene creature dies- another unlived life. the song is a sentimental tribute to this fact. one may look beyond the obvious anthropomorphic intent on screen. however, the lyrics said something. it took me awhile to transpose the human sense of loss and recollection in this song to the world of manatees. if encapsulating this point is difficult, try to remember a favorite pet you lost or gave away as a child or an adult. you might have wondered about where he / she is, if the creature been alive or around still.
while writing, i recall the painful howl of a mother-hyena as she lost four of her cubs to a lion attack. the mother bravely defended her cubs in vain. she laid by the side, mortally wounded and yelped in certain loss for the pain that extended beyond her bloodied scars to the little ones mangled before her eyes. does that all amount to mere instinct? and so what if it is? isn't that a intrinsic substance of life in higher-forms of life as well- sensation, conscious reaction. fear, loss and apprehension...common bearings in many sentient beings. our intellect is quick to discount that which does not fit our limited schema. i always learn a valuable lesson from naturalists, poets, mystics and artists who look deeply and intently into the lifeworld of animals and grapple to find some connection there.
i recall this documentary about the tiger monastery in northern thailand, Wa Pa Luangta Bua. man and beast dwell in uncanny harmony. whoever makes any attempt to imagine this as magical or quiet exploitation must be blind.
i listen to dean's song again. its rhythm is purposeful...paced by skillful use of even metre and syllable. i detect a lyrical allusion to a chinese-themed ballad. still, it is just an instinct. am so tired of these regretful tones that everything calls for a distant recognition of how it should matter and why things need not remain the way they used to be. strange that i should attempt to test my terrain into man-animal psyche in this entry.... are manatees aware that they live on borrowed time? they maintain a sense of nonchalance in the manner which they paddle through the languid waters, not aware of the possible darkness ahead. content to lie in peace, a quiet decision made not to turn against much of a world that has ceased to save.
maybe then, this might be a song rewritten to abused, hunted and abandoned animals everywhere... imagining their unlived lives...before mine.
You made up your mind
It was time it was over.
I would not have chosen
So fly, Go ahead and fly
I hope that in time
Girl I,
And when you finally do,
Somewhere in My Broken Heart
You made up your mind
It was time it was over.
After we had come so far.
But I think there's enough pieces of forgiveness
Somewhere In My Broken Heart.
I would not have chosenThe road you have taken.
It has left us miles apart.
But I think I can still find the will to keep going
Somewere In My Broken Heart.
So fly, Go ahead and flyUntil you find out who you are.
And I, I will keep my love unspoken,
Somewhere In My Broken Heart.
I hope that in time You find what you long for,
Love that's written in the stars.
When you finally do,
I think you will see it
Somewhere In My Broken Heart...
Girl I, I will keep my love unspoken
Somewhere In My Broken Heart
I hope that in time,You will find what you long for-
Love that's written in the stars.
And when you finally do, Do I think you will see it
Somewhere In My Broken,
Somewhere In My Broken,
Somewhere In My Broken Heart
limits of an island-cityscape. this recklessness and latent desire to explore new cultures and landscapes impart a sense of awe and humility... simply in knowing that there is no place i am able to know completely. i am none the wiser just because i have almost a decade of teaching experience, 3 degrees and 2 diplomas to put on my cv. i like my worldview to be cracked, my perceptions to be challenged by a language or custom that is alien to my own. 
it is a warm insight. to recall this teaching as i look back on the many albums composed by these travels. i might discard them one day. every picture seems to betray the visual greed i had. when i look back, many fail to capture the feeling i had intended. i could be freer and happier to let the moment be. how stupid of me in wanting to possess what i can never grasp or even hold. in naming these places, i tell myself that i do not know enough to call them my own. they will never be. within these lands are a thousand more people i have yet to know, many pages of history i've yet to fully comprehend and the lores and songs of the seas, rivers, deserts, sky, air and land that humble and diffuse the false sense knowledge of my personal world. i stepped on these countries only to find a partial track to nowhere...i guess the real work must begin from within.