untended places

i picked this unit because of the view. on the left, i see tips of jurong port lighting the horizon at dusk, reminding me of old ports, grey coasts and distant lighthouses that haunted my earliest impressions of childhood. my 21st floor bedroom window opens up to much of the northwest...safti, kranji, choa and lim chu kang and jb further afield.

i've spent much of my life in the west; born, bred, educated and will probably die here. there was little appeal for the east when friends invited me to hunt for an apartment that would always receive alot of summer breeze from the sea. i enjoy staying in the west for the quiet it offers and the large swathes of green that seem to remind us of our jungle past. providence permitted another childhood fantasy to come true; to be near to the sound and comfort of railway lines, a tangible reminder, an assuring spiritual metaphor indicating a direction sought and gained...a path on which to travel on. i don't always find it completely and have sometimes even been denied of it. but this line of trains outside my window imparts a firm imprint of a past catching up with me, to validate what i've always felt from childhood and my teenage years...

i'll probably be in debt for life when i made the decision to purchase this flat. in this present state, the hacked walls, loosened wires and pristine floor tiles are a contradiction of sorts- laying an uneasy vision of a home to come. you need to work hard to peel the most out of a limited budget and remain unseduced by cheap buys. do i hold a neat dream or a huge mess on my hands?

  i have to wait patiently for this place to be completed between now and november. in time to come, i can look longer at spells of coming rain (not anymore on these globalwarming days) drenching the albizia and raintree beyond the window...

a day, complete

being planted in a new place allows me to rediscover what keeps me happy and fulfilled amid all the expectations that an invisible society places on you. it was last tuesday. and i had just concluded another round of OP rehearsals with 3 classes. we decided to prank around and captured these shots as little memories of us trying to find alot of fun amid the grading and call to self-growth that mark these cycles of college life.

i like my classes. never mind if my day starts at 530am and ends 6 or 8pm during more intense seasons. i look forward to meeting them. i miss being in the classrooms during term breaks. i guess holidays can sometimes be a call to return to self. so much of me feeling complete and integrated at work is sometimes 'determined' by my students and to some extent, the school culture which we are located within. like any interested student keen to try out strange experiences and learn from from fresh encounters, my pupils' desire to give their best to every small and minute detail for this OP means alot to me. in teaching and guiding them, i have also learnt to withdraw at times, esp if they become too dependent on my ideas. i want them to grow independent and own this project for themselves and not because of my bidding.

one day, the hour ended so well i decided to head to macrit alone for another long run at sundown... it was a day of thanksgiving that arrived unnoticed. the good lessons were warmly supported by cheerful and resilient learners that do their part and make your day worthwhile. i sat on one of the boardwalks and listened again to the first calling that led me here. i pray for grace to remain open, enough the sense the purpose that keeps me going, to find fulfilment within.