everyday...a prayer is heard.

a typical day runs like footwork...

thoughts creep up from nowhere and i scribble quickly on scrap paper (poached from the waste-dept at edfac... while no one is looking, hehe- not stealing ya!) so it goes...the things i must do for the day...

-check bank refund
-subscribe to papers
-top-up optus prepaid card
-buy indo-chilli from laguna
-develop family pics
-enquire if swimming shorts allowed at unipool
-tell cousin those pics were sent back!!! (after almost 5 mths!!!)

strangely i feel a sense of accomplishment after these things are done. the day opens up empty but it is gradually filled with little decisions that axel a day's movement somewhat. i look forward to daily mass, something simple to commit to during lent. i share with God everything that has happened so far. honesty and openness. relationships. what we apply in our human affairs untimately reflects his place in our lives. to personalise it further is to risk intimacy and a depthing that brings challenges of its own. yet if there is no intimacy to speak of, there can be no genuine relationship to begin with. Cassian says we pray best when we are no longer aware of praying...do i believe that God is intimately involved and is concerned with every detail of my life? do i find that intrusive or comforting? if so, why?

my meals are getting more arty by the day. used warmed over-nite rice...simply scatter it with basil and mixed herbs. next, tossed it with anchovies (pre-stir-fried with ginger) raw spinach, rockets, boccocini cheese and a dollop of kimchi, or a slice of cold ham. yop it with minutes of pesto sauce and ta-dah... you have the most filling vitamin-mind-blowing meal ever prepared by yours truly...whenever i crave for fish, i would add a smoked trout by the side and drizzle with lemon juice. lunch can't get better than this.

am doing a little more light (haha) shopping this final semester...tag on stuff unavailable in singapore. green is theme. these are funky shoes...doubt i can find that in queenway, junction 8, orchard and the like. wah!

i didn't forget how the day closed for me. watched the sky as the last fires of sunset burned. right outside my window. i ate my meal in silence. seeing, tasting, hearing...i don't know if i 'was' truly praying but the awareness itself...is thanksgiving.

four short months

4 short months and i will make every effort to live them fully. i like my new niche behind the law faculty. it's quiet at night, spared from the tinkling bells of trams that run along swanston street. the kitchen-near-bed setup didnt prove too bad afterall. i just have to be careful with cooking methods. living on my own has somewhat simplified a lifestyle...my meals are simpler but no less palatable, and i could structure my free time more easily, not needing to rush home for cooking duties as of last year.

i catch the afternoon sunblast, unfortunately but am spared the awakening dawn. room faces west melbourne and if i am lucky, i get to catch a sight of hot-air balloons cruising outside my window. am starting to clear up any leftover stationary and household equipment by now, passing them on to undergrads who need some startup in their new place.

best of all, i committed myself to many more external courses this term. secured my last 2 majors in marketing as well as leadership succesfully within edfac. also taking up classes in world music, pilates as well as meditation. Life drawing is a possibility. winter is due again with autumn looming in april. days are going to get shorter and colder. i reckon my outdoor runs will cease. not into treadmills but the ones in unimelb sports ctr should do fine. they even have a heated pool with great views of the residential colleges as well as open field.

i doubt if i would have such lavish portions of time to rest, work and play once i get sucked into the workforce again. being here has transformed my narrow outlook to life and imparted a greater, if not deeper sense of independence to chart my own road and own my own time. went to tarrawarra on sun. delighted to meet pat, sam and joe once more. rekindling the past. we chatted for almost 4 hours in the same room. cloistered indeed. bought pau for them and jo had copy of you jin's text at last.

met johal yesterday. he dropped nus for unimelb. an excellent choice. he will grow even more. came up for tea. taught him in 2004. we reminisced about gothic days and the sins of 03A05. hope he does a module on cinema studies and literature. he has not lost his gift for abstract thought and writing. he is with nissa now, another junior gal who was in my gp class...02A05 i believe. ha. THAT class...loyal blokes to the core. strange that pioneer students almost always end up getting attached to each other. looks like we all find something secure to hold on from the past...