it's over now

sheer relief. pain relieved. forty-three pages and 6 pages more of appendices. eight thousand and seventy-eight words. one hundred and seventy three references. 4 months of exhausting mental sweat, laborious research and energetic intellect invested in a long drawn essay self-contained , made compact inside a thumb-drive. held to the point of my fingertip. i have to do well for this. hopefully, my 4th first class high distinction grade, well, then, maybe. never been so ambitious before but that is what the last lap can do to you. you go all the way and want nothing but gold. bankrupt because of 30k. i desire something back. anyway, it was my final paper. the joy was almost explicit. walked to library with 2 bagful of books. 15 kg? some had stayed with me since the start of term. i was getting sick of them. familiarity breeds contempt. flung them across the counter with great grace. the librarian gave a knowing smile. we had a thorough chat. she too had finished her last assignments. again, our smiles met. we blinked. instinctively.



these bagfuls of books. i mined them till there were no more theories left to shred. still, some degree of cheeky intelligence got me through the rest. i dunno what the next days are going to be like. pete and cj flying in at 445am tonite. got xiang to allow me to bunk over her place and catch the airport shuttle to tullamarine. shoulders feel light. feel like running another mile. will head to the snowfields this sun and complete the four seasons of childhood fun we've all been waiting for. another thanksgiving prayer on the way.