just one word but it sums up my response to the AWARE saga that has been brewing between the old and new guard at dover crescent. it has spilled across much of singapore, generating active discussion among other civil societies as well as ordinary singaporeans who have been asked to study more into the alleged agendas and values which both camps purport to live by.
one claims a higher moral ground at the risk of being labelled as 'moral vigilantes' or 'christian talibans' while the other appears to have stretched themselves too thin in wanting to address the needs and struggles of women in need, including same-sex attracted persons and the transgender communities, many whom are also recognised as women under the law.
i stand with the old guard.
the team led by dr thio and josie lau shake the very foundations of transparency, humility, honesty and humanity which many live by, regardless of our affiliations or orientations, be they ethnic, religious, sexual or cultural in form. i wonder how muslim, hindu, secular women are going to find a home within their schema, not forgetting women or families with different worldviews and values as well.
the desire to speak and live with integrity is fraught with challenges of its own. some are challenged to make known of their beliefs or value systems which they live by while the rest of us learn to recognise our own blind spots in facing up to other truths about human nature or civil society as a whole. 'inclusiveness' can become an abused word where we begin to form tribes of our own, believing the world to be 'one jerusalem', yet not knowing the gospel may be received differently by others in search of life, meaning and maybe, even God.
to say we wish to 'help' others while denying how that term must first apply to oneself can turn out to be one of the heaviest ironies to unfold & carry in life.
perhaps, a few enlightened ones will emerge in this process of debate and confrontation...to understand that at some point, we too have been blind and that it is necessary to seek clarity, fair or proper knowledge given our education, life experiences and for some, our separate stages of faith development.
HELP
As they're used psychologically, words like 'repression', 'denial', 'sublimation', 'defense', all refer to one form or another of the way human beings erect walls to hide behind both from each other and from themselves. You repress the memory that is too painful to deal with, say, you deny your weight problem. You sublimate some of your sexual energy by channeling it into other forms of activity more socially acceptable. You conceal your sense of inadequacy behind a defensive bravado. And so on and so forth. The inner state you end up with is a castle-like affair of keep, inner wall, outer wall, moat, which you erect originally to be a fortress to keep the enemy out but which turns into a prison where you become the jailer and thus your own enemy. It is a wretched and lonely place.
You can't be what you want to be or do what you want to do. People can't see through all that masonry to who you truly are, and half the time, you are not sure you can see who you truly are yourself. You've been walled up so long.
Fortunately there are 2 words that offer a way out, and they're simply these: Help me. It's not always easy to say them - we have our pride after all, and we're not sure there's anybody we trust enough to say them to - but they're always worth saying. To another human being - a friend, a stranger? To God? Maybe it comes to the same thing.
Help me. They open a door through the walls, that's all. At least hope is possible again. At least you're no longer alone.frederick buechner: whistling in the dark
and yes, they did it! with more than half bagging distinctions for their sheer energy, heart & hard work. it was a proud moment for me when their sms-es started streaming in, detailing their grades and how they felt. i was most most heartened by their gratitude. s17 called and screamed so loud my phone almost went bust. a few who did not manage to get a distinction also texted me a note to say thank-you. these are the ones i'll always remember in a special way...letting me know that at the end of the day, i've done my share and they too have grown, learning to look at life beyond grades.
i would be lying if i do not admit that teachers do appreciate the gratitude their students show. it reminds us that our work goes beyond helping them obtain an "A." it was thus strange that only 2 students from my own form class texted back, at least to update me about their grades. the rest fell silent. that is life, sometimes.
i don't remember investing so much creative juice during my days. these are the memorable sparks that make a day in school worth the journey taken. beyond the rigours of getting them to meet pi deadlines and drumming an intellectual framework to project work, i do remind myself daily
i think they appreciate that extra and sincere query you make before lesson starts, how their campaigning has been and the support they have been receiving from their CT classes...i try to do my part too...
thank you for sharing my hopes in the different chapters of our friendship, some of you, stretching to almost 20 years. may God continue to help us experience more laughter, healthy abandonment and sure hope in all things good to come our way... 
We believe in God one reason or another we choose to believe so. We believe God when somehow we run into God in a way that by and large leaves us no choice to do otherwise. When Jesus says whoever believes 'into' him shall never die, he does not mean that to be willing to sign your name to the nicene creed guarantees eternal life. Eternal life is not the result of believing in. It is the experience of believing. . .
Trees are poems that earth writes upon the sky,
i am in touch with a former student whose loved one is being given palliative care for cancer. he rests in assisi hospice, a special place i used to visit during my undergrad days and shared carols with the patients there. all have passed away but their smiles and presence remain, among the familiar and homely corners that are there. reading his open account (
i learn to experience death even before i go. to me, that is a privilege that saddens, humbles but also frees me tremendously. over the years as a teacher, be it for lit or gp, i also conducted learning journeys to these resting places, perhaps a subconscious desire to help my students confront and befriend an inevitable part of life whom none can escape. i remember one particular trip where we stood, silenced by the sight of a simple a balloon above the gravestone of a child. it read- 'happy bdae, son.'
often, to the uninformed, there is more fear than peace when it comes to the thought of death. death seems to sever all ties with the living. the pain of leaving our loved ones behind imparts a deep anguish that cannot be put in words.
when every degree / work has been gained, all salaries spent and all loves expressed...this final stage and some say, 'takeoff' , leaves us in wonder, for more...we want to see what lies behind the veil of our existence...our soul against an open sky...
tinted in blue rarefied air; a canvas inscribed with a promise, that very dream that lays waste will become whole again. and our joy, will be complete.
it was raining when i viewed the flat with some close friends and family today. i saw rain streaking past the high windows, resembling the unlikely fall of snow. once a fantasy, now, not quite believing. our God blesses a longheld dream. it is coming true.
