just one word but it sums up my response to the AWARE saga that has been brewing between the old and new guard at dover crescent. it has spilled across much of singapore, generating active discussion among other civil societies as well as ordinary singaporeans who have been asked to study more into the alleged agendas and values which both camps purport to live by.
one claims a higher moral ground at the risk of being labelled as 'moral vigilantes' or 'christian talibans' while the other appears to have stretched themselves too thin in wanting to address the needs and struggles of women in need, including same-sex attracted persons and the transgender communities, many whom are also recognised as women under the law.
i stand with the old guard.
the team led by dr thio and josie lau shake the very foundations of transparency, humility, honesty and humanity which many live by, regardless of our affiliations or orientations, be they ethnic, religious, sexual or cultural in form. i wonder how muslim, hindu, secular women are going to find a home within their schema, not forgetting women or families with different worldviews and values as well.
the desire to speak and live with integrity is fraught with challenges of its own. some are challenged to make known of their beliefs or value systems which they live by while the rest of us learn to recognise our own blind spots in facing up to other truths about human nature or civil society as a whole. 'inclusiveness' can become an abused word where we begin to form tribes of our own, believing the world to be 'one jerusalem', yet not knowing the gospel may be received differently by others in search of life, meaning and maybe, even God.
to say we wish to 'help' others while denying how that term must first apply to oneself can turn out to be one of the heaviest ironies to unfold & carry in life.
perhaps, a few enlightened ones will emerge in this process of debate and confrontation...to understand that at some point, we too have been blind and that it is necessary to seek clarity, fair or proper knowledge given our education, life experiences and for some, our separate stages of faith development.
HELP
As they're used psychologically, words like 'repression', 'denial', 'sublimation', 'defense', all refer to one form or another of the way human beings erect walls to hide behind both from each other and from themselves. You repress the memory that is too painful to deal with, say, you deny your weight problem. You sublimate some of your sexual energy by channeling it into other forms of activity more socially acceptable. You conceal your sense of inadequacy behind a defensive bravado. And so on and so forth. The inner state you end up with is a castle-like affair of keep, inner wall, outer wall, moat, which you erect originally to be a fortress to keep the enemy out but which turns into a prison where you become the jailer and thus your own enemy. It is a wretched and lonely place.
You can't be what you want to be or do what you want to do. People can't see through all that masonry to who you truly are, and half the time, you are not sure you can see who you truly are yourself. You've been walled up so long.
Fortunately there are 2 words that offer a way out, and they're simply these: Help me. It's not always easy to say them - we have our pride after all, and we're not sure there's anybody we trust enough to say them to - but they're always worth saying. To another human being - a friend, a stranger? To God? Maybe it comes to the same thing.
Help me. They open a door through the walls, that's all. At least hope is possible again. At least you're no longer alone.frederick buechner: whistling in the dark
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