"Our knowledge of God is paradoxically knowledge of him not of him as the object of our scrutiny, but of ourselves as utterly dependent on his saving and merciful knowledge of us. We know in and through ourselves in so far as his truth is the source of our being and his merciful love is at the very heart of our life and experience."

"And to try to be happy by being admired by men, or loved by women, or warm with liquor, or full of lust, or getting possessions and treasures: that turns you away, soon, from the love of God; then men, women and drink and lust and greed take precedence over God; and they darken his light...And then we are unhappy and afraid and angry and fierce, and impatient, and cannot pray, and cannot sit still. That is the bitter yoke of sin: and for this we leave behind the mild and easy yoke of Christ."

Thomas Merton 1915-1968

dear father merton,

your words cut like stone on the dry plains of my soul. a stark reminder of an unchanging reality which stands bare-naked like the land, in form, untinted, unmade, coarse and rocksolid core and contour placed against the unstinting blue, cold sky...it is an unpleasant sight, a vision i am not yet able to handle because i know so little and cannot handle much. i sometimes think i can handle no more than to question this deep injustice and grief welling from the depths of soul.

your sky is still shining, toward a glory i cannot find. your visual peace stings my eyes and takes away any sense of faith or remote hope harboured.