IN THE FACE OF DEEP LONGINGS

Lord, I come to You today less then willingly,for I feel torn within.
I feel these deep, deep urges,
these silent voices of my own restlessness
and its endless needs.

I see that I am pulled in more directions
than I would have thought possible.
I hear the raging seas that are as much a part of me
as the calm exterior others see.
I see that inner poverty and neediness
And weakness and shame are a real part of who I am.

My changing moods seem stronger than my resolutions.
My real hungers seem truer than my polite words.
I escape all clever definitions; I am not any one of my roles.
I seem a frustrating bundle of contradictions
even to myself.
I do not always feel good about my lot in life
and my soul echoes for faith in myself.
My comparisons are too many to name or number.
I wonder if I will ever sort outthe tangled threads of my life,
or stop wishing I were someone or someplace else.

Will I find someone or a hinge on a decision which can answer my numberless questions?

I long to see the face of a healer
who will take away my confusion,
make me feel good about myself, and tell me who I really am.

You are that healer.
For you, I hold no surprises.
Nothing in me shocks you or puts you off.
All that I feel or dream,or even fear to look at,
takes on a new beauty in Your eyes.

For You made me and everything in me.
And You are never ashamed of what your hands have made.

Help me to love me -with a patient and forgiving love,
with serenity and humour. And slowly,
under your gaze, I will see the truth -
that you made me wonderfully well,
and everything in me is precious and beautiful.

Thank You, Divine Designer, for making me what I am -
the wonderful, challenging mystery
you love to hide in.

- Joe Mannath in 'You surprised me' (adapted)


The gift of life is no less beautiful when it is accompanied by failure, sadness or weakness, hunger or poverty, rejection or handicap, loneliness and incompleteness. Indeed, at these times, human life gains extra splendour as it requires our special care, concern and reverence. Cardinal Terence Cooke