free rolling days

it's almost been a month since i returned. haven't been able to land a part-time job since my tenure is so short for any serious commitment. the focus has been a mixture of sorts trying to balance and add some degree of relevance and use for these unspent hours...

1. had the pleasure of clearing old junk and many unmentionable cobby products from Canossian convent. one storeroom became sunny again after 3 hours of real sorting and chunking. glad to receive sr chris' hospitality and openness. joined nuns and fellow volunteers for their home-cooked lunch. i learnt to listen to rain on days when it came. there are kernels of dignity to be found in simple household chores: margaret washing the dishes, brenda answering calls and ah sim faithfully sweeping the corridors of leaves and dust accumulating everyday. the convent at merbok crescent holds many fond memories for me. the chapel overlooks bt timah hill. the silence is alluring and keeps you centered on what really matters at the close of each day. i saw sr chris attending to one elderly nun the other day at lunch. her memory is failing and she regales in past wonders and present constraints which find little anchor in our minds. yet there was gentle tending in the way they made sure morsels of food are carefully placed on her plate. plenty of patience and easy laughter to accompany her back to some distant past. and staying there. her story becoming real. disease and frailty taking flight in face of care.

2. browsing the day separately, with seng and ziz. seng and i visited sungei buloh nature reserve and checked out several abandoned fish farms on the western end of the island. i am quite convinced i'll be living on this part of the island for good. born and bred on seabreeze and having a vision of sweeping lallang grass and fields before me for as long as i could remember. we saw several rogue species of snakehead prowling by the pond and captured the coodling sounds of waterhen as they stalked among the weeds for prey. yesterday, ziz and i ran and hiked more than 10km from macritchie reservoir to the treetop walk. amid pockets of silence were heartfelt sharings about our views toward islam, women and girls, men and friendship, fundamentalism, love, life, growth and loss. heavy topics that seemed to take lighter weight given the backdrop of green shades and pools of quiet water which marked every boundary of the reserve. it's rare to embark on such journeys with valued friends like them; one whose friendship was recently restored after a year of hiatus and the other, a former student whom i established a rare intellectual and spiritual kinship with, after that fateful day-run and a witness of prayer in falling rain.

3. also a note of thanks to karen, shari, ken, helena and john who popped by from nowhere and took me to new places to reclaim parts of ourselves we wanted to bury due our busy demonic schedules and momentary fatigue...karen for volunteering opportunities at Beyond, sticking 8000 labels and knowing first-hand the strain of every production-worker whose work i often take for granted...shari for your pick of new clothes to revision my ageing collection, prepping me for the teaching months ahead...ken for that delightful dinner at ikea and our fondness for oak-brown wood and john who took me to spca only to be stunned into silence by the sadness there. and to you, helena, for your flavourful bowls of rocket salad and teochew mueh, warming the home and stories we shared...