Grateful for Family:

It's 2 weeks to departure. And closures and reminders come your way. Closures that are not quite an ending but a remapping of memory and gratitude to help you celebrate life and relationship on deeper levels of the spirit. I trace it all the way to my family most expensive dinner, ever... at Morton's. The bill came up to a whopping $1450 which my brother freely signed, noting a silent understanding that affluence and money were never meant to be a showcase of onstentatious acts or pride but quiet self-giving. I balked at the price and the initial suggestion. I also knew better, beyond my defences that it was my family, or rather my brother's way of marking a significant relationship which we had not taken time to foster as changes and hallmarks begin to ascribe into our separate lives. My nephew and niece was running around the dim and cosy corners of the restaurant while mom carefully observed the flaming aggressive heats grilled steak stacked on bundles of watercress, aghast that they seem unwashed. Dad tucked neatly into crab cakes. We also cast an equal glow of wonder on a live boston lobster only to make neat work of its peppersalt dusted claw later on. Add on 2 bottles of wine and the meaning of 'family' came like a headrush of sorts, clarifying beyond words what unconditional generosity meant to each of us. 'My cup runneth over', Helena said. I went home that night, and sensed a much awaited light breaking through, dispelling a well-hidden inner room of gloom and self-doubt i had build around me all these years. That trickle of light piercing those gaps of shyness and resistance. The darkness may still be there but it has gotten weaker. In looking for dawn, I know i have taken a step in the right direction.