there to quiet my spirit
that's what you do
dissolving the sky in wordless wonder
composing canticles
usher the entry
of unspoken moods

a little reading of your movements
unfolds patterns
sad beats

to numb the heart
slow on its walk
refining the journey
to a season's ending prayer

even trees bend low
a deepening surrender

to the slow press of death-
the mulch of dead leaves on
on wet grains of sand

december spells
november blues
rain on my window

unnamed trickles

glazing distant words

on an empty song

someone tries to capture a moment in the surging sea

make sense of grey white and a distant dark

they are beautiful

just empty and whole

indelible prints of sky

latched on a landscape

speaking secrets

in every soul

deferring a hold on gratitude

awakening longheld stories

nearer the sea,

falling snow forming chords

reading songs of yesterday's evening rain

they mark the paces taken

having to leave footprints behind

by the grass where we let dreams hide

another closure to a journey,

a temporal home to many feelings

we sort them into boxes,

clothing and wrapping our memory

to another space and time,

where we may once again

find courage to open &

share them under the sun.

given and set free

only to

look back and recall,

how we struggled to live each day

to the full,

amid incompleteness and quiet faith

that disappointment, grief and pain

will somewhat find an equal place

on the stage of our hearts.

-----------closing july - dec 2006-------------------------------------

SONG : LOVE

Though you send me away

to think my self free

to take what you give

without thought, without terror,

I learn that to be near you

is to understand our error

in thinking freedom comes through

breaking ties while we live.

Teach me to be free

as earth, sky and sea,

let them make me a place

to come back to your care.
Death will not turn

me away if i learn
to look into the human face

to find you there.

lee tzu pheng

Victoria Burning...

several bushfires in victoria's suburbs have merged and have sent fumes and smogs into the city. its 41 degreeees today. even bands of infamous summer flies bow in defeat and fly away. it's a culmination of prolonged drought over the past 20 years. UV rays are at an all time high. ranked 9. slippers risked being burned on the hot tar road. skin cancers are on the rise. the mood is sombre. heat waves over me. pray for farmers and peoples in gippsland who worry for their land and property. wind wild and fire. my pet crayfish died from exposure to unearthly sunbeams. it curled in defeat. ready stock on a pot of tapwatered algae soup.

slept on the balcony yesterday. breathed in the fresh morning air before the temperatures rise and scorch the air again... teochew mueh to 'liang' the body and soothe the tastebuds today. and fridge-based kimchi. hang wet-washed clothes and they dry within minutes. splattered with airborne molecules emitted by one revenging sun.

we are clearing property each day. DHL boxes piled high. divising what to split and spit. pots, pans, clothes for tomorrow, fabrics going home to singapore. retaining startup stationary plus menus and books for 4 months of next year...drinking beer now...the only way to chill down...my plants have wilted too. salvation for them and my skin to be found through the white porcelain cool on toilet and bowl or both.

a desire to go home...leaving 15 dec 2006. friday. qantas flies from burning bushlands to monsoon singapore...can't wait to taste & read the rain, once more.

let them fall...............

let them fall......

portraits of place&journeys

--------tasmania 17-25 nov 2006---------

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

Through the unknown, remembered gate

When the last of the earth left to discover

Is that which was the beginning;

At the source of the longest river

The voice of the hidden waterfall

And the children of the apple-tree.

Not known, because not looked for

But heard, half-heard, in the stillness

Between two waves of the sea.

Quick now, here, now, always -

A condition of complete simplicity

(Costing not less than everything)

And all shall be well and

All manner of thing shall be well

When the tongues of flame are in-folded

Into the crowned knot of fire

And the fire and the rose are one.

T.S. Eliot, The Four Quartets

--------------------

separation, encounter, return...Lord, the endpoint to all our journeys. Grant us faith to believe that you will meet us in the heart of all our suffering. there is little we can do about it because we hold so very little in the hands of our doing. all shall cease. you will calm the wind, and the shoreline we'll see... Lord, we want you to be near us this evening.

---------------------------------------

letter days 2
--------------------------------
Hi people,

Just woke up from a long sleep. Had a good trip tp Tasmania. Much of it was due to the campervan experience. There were 4 of us and we basically used the all-purpose hulk of a truck to eat, plan, sleep, cook, chill for the entire journey. It's something our group / cliques should try the next time we hit on the road, if ever, on an overseas trip. All took turns to drive, some cooked more often than others while the techies had fun plugging water and electricity (sometimes we errr, obtained it from dubious means) from centralised campervan parks.

Tassie was dry and droughty for most of our trip with bare brown trees and ash laden grass. It was a pity. We skipped some spots because there was no point heading up when the weather was grey and darkly on some days. There were days that a route was fogged up completely on both ends and occasions when our manual-powered monster couldnt quite navigate the hilly terrain However, we made it up with good cooking and fullblown appetites esp with some of the freshest oysters found on the southern hemisphere...there was one particular stretch of days when we had crayfish and lobster back on back, not too worried if our cholestrol or hormone levels would burst over the next dayscape, be it breakfast, tunch, tea or dinner. Some days were quiet. I munched an apple by a secluded cove and picked a seaweed to sculpture a morning sky.

Tassies are generally warm people though we detected a whiff of xenophobia (well, more to do with 'we dun see yellow-skinned people around here often so where the hell are they from?) in some remote townships on the eastern coast. Roadkills were frequent (and nope, we didnt hit any) but we never see bones on the road. Crows and tassie devils are that efficient. We did much and there was a fair share of travel bits from jetboat, to kayaking, fishing (and we were able to eat what we caught, courtesy of skipper/chef onboard!), dolphin watch to ghost walks onward to pubbing, forest climbs and bush hikes. Other interesting stuff happened on a pub-crawling night but i shall self-censor at this point and spill the odd details to some other time. Don't worry, i didn't commit any crime.

Am heading off to NZ from 30nov-5 dec and Sydney 9-12 dec before coming back for a much-awaited reunion with everyone. Pls take care and know that i remember moments and people from home everytime the room turns silent and there comes the invitation to walk on my own.

Some pictures tell a story, let them.

letter days 1
-----------------------------------------------------------------

a little note gathered from 01A01...
thanks cuili, for the poem

-----------------------------------------------

There were places you brought me to.


A hillside,


a shade under a tree,


a quieter path.


Any always,

I find what I am looking for.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Koh, the poem is written for you. I hope you are doing fine in Australia. I was talking to some Danish classmates of mine and it seems like THE destination to go right now is Australia, especially for young backpackers, who work as they travel. Of course I thought about you when Australia was mentioned. November is coming to an end and soon it will be the end of December. If I forget to wish you a Merry Christmas (because I will be away) I will do that in advance today. And I truly wish you all the wonderful days until the end of the year. I am already making a list of the 'long-lost' friends that I missed while I am here, and I want to meet up with them all when I return! Chestnutmare.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

missing the distance

and reclaiming

the memory between


friends & families,

or classmates, pupils and colleagues,

next to many others

rewriting our

kinship from the start...

Continue to enjoy your time in Copenhagen! you won't repeat your time there, ever again. btw, the poem is 'quintessentially you' as much as it has been about me on the teaching journey...about australia, yes, i just came back from a campervan trip to tasmania and the pictures will be up soon. just need more time to compose them. for now, i have to clear up to 132 load of junk and proper emails. somebody please remind me to pop a vacation message next time. my sincere apologies to those who will be receiving a delay in replies...

They call it Mount Tabor...on Yarra Glen

... pharmacy, kitchen and chapel, and more than a home...

Richard and Wailin extended a warm welcome to their country home. we stayed for 2 nights, learned to farm and realised that pak choi could be grown on winter soil. their organic garden supplied most our meals...lou fatt ko, peach, kiwi, fig, apple, macadamia, lemons, grapefruits, bayleaves, parsley, gooseberries, olives and a whole balm of scented pharmacopoeia lining the edge of their green property. finnie their trusty dog is still fit, hale and hearty at fourteen...accompanied us for many walks. i also managed to bathe her, something i had not done for 6 years since bobby died. this place brought home a beginning of many memories. we spent the days hiking up the surrounding hills, me and my peruvian nomadic poncho and adrian with his old army smirks confidently tredging up the mossy grounds and breaking sticks to head on a path. we even filmed a scene of near murder on the range, a tentative vengence for all the slips and misunderstandings which happened during the early days of our tenancy in melbourne city. a forgiving time on forgotten days. recovering from cold, wailin insisted on cooking. many sumptuous meals were served to keep us warm; fine red steak with grilled pumpkin and potatos one day and self-made char siew (a very rare treat in victoria country) with chinese stir fry plus organic veges and stewed apples on the second night while good o richard picked and poured the best wine from their oakwood store, even in the midst of nursing a recent surgery on foot. he also listens to the sound that rain makes when they fall from sky and just learnt to play the violin beyond 65... husband and wife: both poets, farmers, craftsman, musicians, pastors, healers and dedicated sculptors of the land and human heart. they lit the fireplace one rainy day and we spent rest of the night with a mug of hot tea with poems on our hands while wailin revelled ad. with tales of her early earthbound years grappling with mystery and other broken lives on half a globe. they both bore an artist's heart... wailin sculpts flowers for the sacristy while the side chapel and much of the house was filled with richard's paintings, music and carpentary. Christ hung on beech wood and gospel scenes replayed on walls making clear the anchor of within their innermost depths, the rooted soil of faith that gives meaning to their service to others, their humanity and the story of their marriage; tender and caring gifts of graciousness and love that flowed from a common heart centered on God.

it's not everyday that you get to witness and hold wisdom, prayer and laughter with your hands, like how we held ours' in a circle as we said grace. we value their friendship so much. they are one of the kindest and most beautiful couples we've ever met...having touched the lives of so many who have been privileged to meet them and share their quiet earthy faith.

bankrolls on seafood & other ikkies

this crab packs a wallop... and we spent close to $AUD 500 on it...inclusive of 2 vege dishes (to so-called detoxify the blood) and a plate of noodles drenched in rich red roe...our heart's 'best friend'...adrian could feel the cholestrol level shoot sky high within the recesses of his stomach while Teck, Chew Wi and myself gorged in bliss and absent guilt. This picture was taken courtesy of the restaurant manager who had to afford us a photo shoot of this galactic crustecean before surrendering it to the wok. i kept both its pincers at the end of the meal, determined to pinch a relic out of this most expensive luxurious decadent meal i've ever had, since landing on aussie shores...

we found time to welcome a sandworm on one of the rare oyster feasts we had in the apartment. to clear its debris, it is customary to first bathe the oysters in cold tap water...however, something crawled out from the freshly shuckled shell during the washing...it spent a few minutes breathing urban oxified air until it was fatally subdued in acid sprays of lemon juice and tobasco sauce...we now know why restaurants frequently supply ready bottles and wedges as accompaniments on the oyster bar... ocean glamour and its underground breed of grossness marking the silver gate of an oyster shell, sluiced, polished & purified by citrus and seasalt, ready for its final plunge down the guts.