tree-heart

ken's granny passed away on a tuesday. loved, loving...in dedication-


a sky crumpled and silent... and this cold rain. God may take the sun away. but the tree of grief still stands. we rest under. and pray. an imagined faith made perfect in memory. leaves fall and draw me to a faraway home. to our shelter and past. these albums, the pages of our stories, to be held and noticed once more. i read the lines you penned on its symmetry now that you are no longer there. listening, and missing you, i long to be a child again.

Grief by carol ann duffy (b. 1955)

Grief, your gift, unwrapped,

my empty hands made heavy,

holding when they held you

like an ache; unlooked for,

though my eyes stare inward now

at where you were, my star, my star;

and undeserved, the perfect choice

for one with everything, humbling

my heart; unwanted, too, my small voice

lost for words to thank you with; unusual,

how it, given, grows to fill a day, a night,

a week, a month, teaching its text,

love's spinster twin, my head bowed,

learning, learning; understood.

----- to furanshi------

three friends

we've known each other since 1992. one of my best friends. edward left a good career in family medicine for the catholic priesthood, to be a different healer in ways we least expect. last sunday, he flew to rome to continue his studies. it will be three years before we meet again.

f's relationship crumbled after many years of commitment. it's hard to begin again.

cons completed a musical recently. i watched her sing her lines from the depths of her own heart. the stage broke open that same heart...we learn what it means to forgive.

a shower's just fallen. from my window, i see old trees renewed, fresh with rain.
they grow still,

grateful,

present.

they learn to receive.

and every tree has its past.

life goes on...

we hold your journey safe with us

travelogue- jun 09

'born of stars, how can we not burn?'

mount kinabalu-sabah, east malaysia

imprisoned by cycles of rebirth...

buddha looked, and understood.

cheung chau, lamma island- hong kong

the dead learns to rest.

while we pause, and love what remains.

khao lak, thailand

beginnings

never knew i would hold an art exhibition in my lifetime. i thank my teachers joanna, kowling and my community at heartspace for the opportunity to share our works on this occasion. i am moved by the support and presence given by my family, colleagues, former students and lifetime friends who turned up to celebrate our journeys with me.

all pieces were sold and some asked if i was happy to 'achieve' this. unknown to many, i flunked art at o-levels and these three days turned out to be a way of letting go a burdened past that scarred me somewhat...i wished my art teacher was here.

on a deeper note, 'achievement' isn't really the point. i was just happy that all of us took courage to share our stories through our works. many took time to read, ponder and listen. that was enough for me. it motivates us to continue painting and sharing our experiences of life, wonder and Christ with others who come our way.

beyond monetary affirmation. my teacher shared once that every painting has a owner out there, looking for that one piece. they know it when they see it. and will readily adopt it into their home...

i like that.

private faith

in our anguish we struggle

to elude him, to lie to him, yet his love observes

his appalling promises; his predeliction

as we wander and weep is with us to the end.

minding our meanings, our least matter dear to him.

w.h. auden

i learned, i learned, when one might be inclined

to think, too late, you cannot recover your losses-

i learned something of the nature of God's mind,

not the abstract creator but he who caresses

the daily and nightly earth; he who refuses

to take failure for an answer till again and again is worn.

patrick kavanagh

line of trees in may

leaves fall on the month of may. it was almost three years back when i last caught maples dusting the air with applescent . and recall story of lives covered in autumn reds.my hands listen for rain.

where trees in gold

rewrite dreams once more.

drawn by grace...

dear friends...

a group of us will be holding an art exhibtion at nus cultural centre from 26-28 june 2009. we'll be sharing pieces that we have been working on for the past year or so, depicting our experiences and interpretations of life and our journeys. this is my first.

personally, i feel quite intimidated, having to share my works with more experienced artists. i have not forgotten my sad grades for o-level art as well! it's good to exorcise these demons for good and step forward with hope and courage

please drop by if you are free. looking forward to your quiet support.

for more info visit -
www.stmary.sg/paulthemusical/artexhibition

a shining life

i enjoyed myself thoroughly at the recently-concluded raffles dance night where students showcased their best award-winning performances shown on syf. the delicate power and sensitivity for the piece depicting the experiences of japanese comfort women was spell-binding to say the least.indian dance's shakthi and another modern piece, ecstasy was equally inviting with broad strokes of indian feminist mythology and contemporary macabre igniting the soul.

what would our world be like should dance be spilled on the byways of our strait-laced city life, beyond the ndp orchestration that we see annually? this happened in antwerp, belgium. i couldn't care less if it was a staged event or not. it tells me so much about our common capacity for delight as a human community, a fact often drowned amid the intellectual discourse that sadly covers up our potential for playful celebration against the imposed monotony of industrized & 'contemporized' existence.

avila

Simone Weil has described prayer as a patient waiting with expectancy. It is a paradox of tension that combines the absence and the presence of God; the already and the not yet; the returning and the going; tender loving possession and the agony of searching for the lost...

george maloney: alone with the alone

missing gp...

a note from a fellow educator in light of the ministry's latest directive related to aware saga...there are days when a subject holds far more potential than some are willing to admit or correct their own preconceptions in light of reality.

Here is the 'offending' note...not featured in mainstream media.

Offend? Does it?

I Teach General Paper, not Homosexuality

With all due respect to the well-meaning “concerned parents” out there, this is starting to sound like a dodgy GP essay to me.Apparently, because my students and I “discuss topics such as the legalisation of gay marriage and parents of the same sex forming families through adoption” in class, I am guilty of promoting homosexuality.

Right.

But never mind. MOE has already come to the rescue with their statement that “GP lessons are meant to promote critical thinking” and GP teachers “should also adhere to social norms and values of our mainstream society”.

Oh yes, apparently one can facilitate critical thinking, that is, the reasoned questioning of assumptions, norms and values AND fully reinforce and adhere to social norms at the same time.And wait, I see this again, in the debate on sexuality education and just what should be said about homosexuality:

1. Homosexuality is against the social norms and values of mainstream society.

2. Homosexuality is illegal and considered unnatural under Singapore law.

The first thing any student of GP (or indeed, any human being who knows anything about world history) will realise, is that social norms change. Secondly, if you insist on going by “mainstream” values and beliefs, you may like to follow 43% of Singaporeans and look to Buddhism, which views homosexuality on neutral grounds, as opposed to Christianity (15%) and Islam (15%).In any case, the legal argument will only hold as long as homosexual acts are considered illegal in Singapore.... and judging from the force of change in the world, frankly my dear, you can't hold the dam for much longer.

Singapore's law criminalising homosexual acts is based on British law – which decriminalised this in 1967.Other countries which have decriminalised homosexuality include France (1791), The Netherlands (1811), Brazil (1830), Ottoman Empire (1858), Germany (1871), Japan (1880), Italy (1889), USSR (1922), Denmark (1930), Iceland (1940), Switzerland (1942), Sweden (1944), Greece (1951), Thailand (1956), Israel (1963), Chad (1967), Canada (1969), Kosovo (1970), Australia (1981), South Africa (1994), China (1997) etc.

This shows an increasing acceptance that personal preferences that do not harm anyone else should not be governed (in this case, criminalised) by the state. As with the wearing away of all other forms of inequality, I believe this discrimination of homosexuals cannot last.So what are we left with?Are we justifying a brand of education with reasons that won't hold weight for much longer?You may argue that making something legal doesn't make it right, and you have a point. But then that would depend on what you consider “right”, which really is a moral issue and one that concerns personal belief.

So I have two points for you:

1. Personal beliefs – religious or otherwise – should not influence the laws of a secular society. The onus is on parents and preachers to educate their children in these beliefs. Say what you want at the pulpit, not in Parliament, and certainly, do not foist this responsibility onto your child's teachers in secular schools.

2. It is unfair, impractical and dangerous to insist that youths be given only the old rules when they live in a completely different world. Parents, if you insist on a black-and-white moral education for your children, you only drive them into secrecy when they need you most. If teachers cannot teach openly and factually, rest assured that the internet will.As an educator and maybe future parent, I admit I am less concerned about whether my children are homosexual/transsexual/(fill in the blank) or not, and more concerned that they should always respect others and themselves, never discriminate, always critically examine issues, always feel free to share their thoughts with me without fear of condemnation, always love and always be loved no matter what.

This is my hope.

Lisa Li
11 May 2009

PS. If you think your children will rush to become homosexual/transsexual/(fill in the blank) because of my words, I THANK YOU for crediting me with such influence! By the way, your children are smarter than you think....
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there are teachers and there are educators...

To all the Educators I know-

Commonsense and a sprinkle of creativity work the magic,

on days when theories or warnings fail...

Lipstick in School

(You've got to love this principal..a true story)

According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem.. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers....

and then there are educators.

on sexuality and personhood

i've been quoting buechner's writings for sometime now as they have played a quiet role in shaping my understanding of faith, life and humanity at large. the current debate between moe and aware over their understanding of human sexuality is an interesting one. both seek to support the role of educators in society. both carry equal potential to educate society at large based on the kind of proper discourse they bring into debates. however, one party seems more pressured to cite presumed social norms as an evasive argument to the facts at hand about human sexuality while the other points to deeper layers of truth embedded in human consciousness, genetics and identity. there are sexual minorities in society just as there are minorities in terms of their race, enthnicity, disability, eye colour, skin colour, left or right handers...all that is given by our genes...some assume certain aspects can be changed, with some difficulty, as some may argue, like hair colour! are we looking at imposed changes or a informed choice based on a person's fundamental understanding of self and the pursuit of happiness? can this be tweaked at all? even if so, at what price?in an existential take on the issue, buechner's distilled spirituality seeks to transcend the stodgy debates that are often reported without further thought mostly by official narratives represented by the local press. homosexual-

One of the ways that we are attracted to each other is sexually. We want to touch and be touched. We want to give and receive pleasure with our bodies, be it holding hands, eating a good meal or a walk in the rain. We want to know each other in our full nakedness, which is to say in our full humaness, and in the moment of passion, become one with each other. Whether it is our own gender or the other that we are chiefly attracted seems a secondary matter. There is a female element in every male just as there is a male element in every female, and most people, if they are honest, will acknowledge having at one time or another been attracted to both.

To say that morally, spiritually, humanly, homosexuality is always bad seems as absurd as to say in the same terms that heterosexuality is always good, or the other way round. It is not the object of our sexuality that determines its value but the inner nature of our sexuality. If (a) it is as raw as the coupling of animals, at its worst, it demeans us and at its best still leaves our deepest hunger for intimacy unsatisfied. If (b) it involves some measure of kindness, understanding, affection as well as genuine intimacy, sacrifice or emotional integrity, it can potentially become an expression of human love in its fullness and can thus help to complete us as human persons. Whatever our sexual preference happens to be, both of these possibilities are always there. It's not whom you go to bed with or what you do when you get there that matters much. It's what besides sex you are asking to receive, and what besides sex you are offering to give...if sex is on your mind at all.

Here and there, the bible condemns homosexuality in the sense of (a) just as under the headings of adultery and fornication it also condemns heterosexuality in the sense of (a). On the subject of homosexuality in the sense of (b), it is as silent as it is on the subject of sexuality generally in the sense of (b). The great commandment is that we are to love one another - responsibly, faithfully, joyfully - and presumably the biblical view is implied in that.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm

Beyond that, "love is as strong as death," sings Solomon in his song. "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it" (Song of Solomon 8:6-7). Whoever you are and whomever you desire, the passion of those lines is something you are quick to recognise.
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adapted from frank buechner: whistling in the dark

letter by gwee: 2

A CHRISTIAN SOLUTION TO THE AWARE CONUNDRUM
By Gwee Li Sui

This is a follow-up to my earlier note. After posting it, I received -- and am still receiving -- words of thanks and encouragement from many Christians and people with different beliefs and opinions. The Christians specifically said that it was what they needed to hear or would have liked to get across themselves.But I have also received less appreciative messages. Some of these charged me with having sown discord and embarrassed Christianity in front of non-believers. The irony did not escape me, but then I began to wonder whether I did make one too many assumptions. These comments were probably knee-jerk reactions, meaning that some Christians may actually not have thought it possible that other Christians, a whole lot of us, could be this appalled with the episode.For this reason, as a brother-in-Christ, I feel that I need to believe that the new ex-co's sadness over its negative reception and its willingness to heal the social rifts it caused are genuine.

There has already been too much distrust, and somewhere trust has to re-begin. My appeal for non-support is not about humiliating or condemning any group of individuals on either side. Those who have hoped that I came out in strong condemnation of one, emailing me links to sex education and "the gay agenda", or in clear support of the other, initially mistitling my view as "supporting the Old Guard", know that I won't.This is not being wishy-washy; it is staying focussed. The simple disagreement is with a course of action pursued by a group of Christians that has caused suspicion between communities and fear within each. If everyone is to set aside his or her own fixation -- gay, anti-gay, faith in practice, fundamentalism, etc. -- and trace back to the source of our current unhappiness, he or she will see that it all started with a single fateful decision.

One ought not then to doubt that these Christians intend good from their point of view, but one has every reason to doubt that things could be restored and relationships healed by going down the same road.As the party involved is Christian, the most amicable solution may well also be the most obvious. In fact, how could we not have seen it? We Christians believe in a God who gives every person second chances in life. Every chance after the first two is still the second: that's how gracious we believe He is! When one makes a mistake or realises that one has followed a bad choice, there is no shame in admitting wrong, so long as one is sincere about changing. The choice to turn back is never a Christian defeat; it is our triumph! Indeed, paradoxically in this situation, one can also only move on, move forward, by going backwards to the point where the wrong choice was made and choose rightly this time. This is a versatile truth I learnt from C. S. Lewis a long time ago. If the new ex-co will, without contest, give up its seats for a more inclusive shape of leadership in AWARE, it will have regained, I dare say, the faith of many Singaporeans and the admiration and support of every Christian in full measure. These individuals can then go on to pursue in earnest their concern over homosexual teaching in schools and related issues with the right authorities. I want to believe that everyone in that later business will be cooperative and respect the eventual findings, whatever the outcome is. If the AWARE Christians in current leadership and those gearing up to vote tomorrow will choose this infinitely less harmful route, they will have made us all who are Christians proud of them. Do consider the option seriously: it is as practical and as Christian as it can get. Realise that fellow believers like me who are outraged want peace too and have been praying for it. But, when it comes to making peace a reality, only specific individuals are able to effect it. The ball is in their court alone. We can all avoid a confrontation. We can stun the nation with one simple move that affirms love, faith, and hope, all at once.

Yours Truly,
Gwee Li Sui

letter by gwee : 1

a timely note and appeal from a fellow poet, christian and lit senior whom i knew since nus. pls feel free to share with others...

CHRISTIANS AGAINST AWARE TAKEOVER
Gwee Li Sui

Christians in Singapore, listen! You should not be this conflicted about the AWARE debacle. It appears that a few churches have already taken the opportunity to preach on the issue of homosexuality from the pulpit. Some Christians have also been rattling on about it being time to make a stand and be counted for what one truly believes.

So this is me making a stand right here. I have been a Bible-believing Christian for 25 years now. I want first to acknowledge fellow believers who, like me, are shocked, angered, and saddened by the takeover and feel that their faith has been hijacked and their views ignored. I know that a lot of such affected Christians are out there. There is also another group which may not agree with the new team's tactics but admires its fervour or sympathises with it for the heat it has been getting.

But, most of all, I want to address a crucial third party: Christian women who have been encouraged to stand up and be counted for their beliefs. I wish to appeal to their good sense in these last hours. You may be one of these and have even joined, or are planning to join, AWARE to help swing the votes in favour of the new ex-co on Saturday. Especially if I am describing you, please read on! Yes, there are times when a Christian needs to make a courageous stand – but, in every event, always ask yourself: For what cause is this? What context does it serve? The current scenario is not one where we are being asked what our beliefs on certain issues are or whether Christianity and homosexuality are compatible or we are being mocked or discriminated against. It is a simple context where a group of well-meaning Christians infiltrated a secular organisation in order to be in a position to dictate their own values in its daily running. In this light, what a Christian may feel about issues like homosexuality is besides the point!

As a secular body, AWARE rightly cannot have a vision that treats women from different backgrounds through the outlook of just one religious system. Indeed, I dare say that an appropriate Christian response is to resist the actions of these Christians. Just as God gave every person free choice and the opportunity to believe, we ought to support the sanctity of this right for others to make up their own minds and live their own lives. Just as we do not force the Christian faith down someone's throat against his or her will, we should not take over a non-religious organisation for the single purpose of making others unlike us behave as we believe. To do this would be a gross misapplication of the message of Jesus.

If you support the new ex-co's actions, be aware that you are sending a string of possibly irreversible wrong signals to every Singaporean. Consider carefully whether you are willing to shoulder the responsibility of damages that would affect the longstanding good work of Christians in Singapore. Since the government has chosen not to be involved in the matter so far, whatever happens will be seen clearly by all as the response of particular sectors of society. Here is my short list of obvious implications: [1] Support the new ex-co, and you are effectively saying that you condone its quasi-corporate act of infiltration, with related strategies of secrecy, disinformation, moral coercion, and fear-mongering. You are saying that you support its less-than-Christian covert moves more than traditionally Christian ones like dialogue, open engagement, honesty, and clarity.

[2] Support the new ex-co, and we will go down a slippery road with wide-ranging repercussions for all. Don’t believe for a moment that the manoeuvring will stop here. What this invites others to see is that infiltration is the most effective way for small groups of like-minded individuals to seize power quickly -- and where will this end? What is to stop any religious or ideological group from doing the same to any social institution at every level? In the long run, who do you think loses?

[3] Support the new ex-co, and you potentially make light of the freedom that is God’s gift to every human being. Against your best intentions, you may send out instead the message that we Christians think that we know better than everyone else and that we are willing to outflank, overpower, and overwhelm if we do not get our way.
[4] Support the new ex-co, and, if they stay and behave as predicted, you will be directly responsible for undoing the trust that many Christians have taken years to build with their non-Christian friends. This is a trust built on mutual respect. You will have made the Gospel of Christ more difficult to hear for years to come because people will think that they know what it is about. You will have created a new generation of Christ-haters. This matter, in short, is not to be treated lightly. Jesus tells us all to be "wise as serpents, and harmless as doves". There are times to be passionate and helpful in a gungho way, but this is not the time. Christians can be wrong about many things too. So please, by all means, pray for the AWARE debacle to be resolved amicably and for Christians in AWARE, but do not, in the name of our common faith, go in blind support of other Christians because you are Christian!

Yours Truly,

Gwee Li Sui